The following report was sent into our website by Debbie on July 22, 2011:
“My brother-in-law (I will call him Mike) had sadly commited suicide the year my daughter was born and it devastated the family. Apart from his troubled life with the law as well as drug and alcohol problems no one knew that he was planning to take his own life. I remember feeling like I was being followed or bugged after he died. I don’t know how to explain it I just felt an urgency in energy around me and my family and I was very sad as I believe that if you commit suicide you go to hell. Days after his death I had the same strange repetative dream identical, accept for one slight part of the dream each night. The dream would start out with all the family laughing and having breakfast at a quaint small family dinner somewhere, it was a beautiful sunny day and we were all happy, just really enjoying each others company. Suddenly the old copper bell affixed to the top of the old wooden dinner door would ring as the door to the diner would open, letting the waitress and cooks know that another customer has entered. Then suddenly there he was, my brother-in-law, he had on a white t-shirt and blue jeans and his burgandy leather coat, he looked freshly groomed. The strange thing was that he was leaning on a wooden crutch and was missing a foot. He sat down beside me in the booth on the big padded red seat like it was nothing. I looked at him in shock and said “Mike what are you doing here you’re dead?” He simply laughed and said “well, I’m here to help with the destruction of the universe”. Then the dream would fade out and I would wake up.
The same thing would occur the following night except this time he was missing his whole leg, and so on each night a body part was missing – it was really bizzare – until all he had was one leg and half an arm left. And each time I said to him, “Mike what are you doing here, you’re dead”, then he would laugh slightly and say “I am here to help in the destruction of the universe”. I had those dreams for about a week and then they had stopped. When I told my family, not my husband as I did not want him to hurt any more than he did, everyone kept telling me it was just a dream but I knew it was more then that. I felt as though he was trying to tell me something, or at least trying very hard to get my attention.
Shortly after, we moved out of our little one bedroom basement apartment and moved closer to my parents’ in the east end of Ottawa in a small little 2 bedroom apartment so that the baby could have her own room. My husband and I were still going through all the emotions of dealing with what had happened to his brother, it was a very difficult time for all of us trying to get over what had happened. One night when I had just started to drift off to sleep I had an experience that I will never ever, ever forget. I will carry it with me for the rest of my life as it truly frightened me. As I was saying earlier, it was a cold winters night and I had just drifted off to sleep, yet I remember my husband getting into bed beside me. I remember becoming aware of him but I guess I was just no longer fully awake. I remember fluttering my eyes to see my husband briefly then that was it. Then I remember being somehow awakened and I became aware like I was interacting but still in a state of sleep but not alseep, it’s hard to explain. I remember turning my head slightly to the left to see the light of the bedroom window, then darkness enveloped all the light that there was. I sensed fear but there was nothing I could do. I felt frozen and half awake but aware of what was happening. I looked up and remember feeling and being engulfed in total and utter darkness. This darkness took form over my sleeping body, almost like someone was floating directly above me but it was this dark black thick despair, it’s the only way I can describe it in words. I cannot explain how dark and lonely this darkness felt and appeared to be. It filled up the space above me in bed, like it hovered above me, looking at me trying to get me to react. Then the mass of darkness floating above me suddenly emitted a funnel, and whatever it was had blown breath down into my face. The breath or whatever it was went straight into my face and into my mouth and when that happened I was more aware and frightened and I felt myself beginning to gag from what my senses had been forced to endure. I was now very aware and terrified and realized I was alone. My husband was not there beside me. I felt panic and fear of the unknown and I suddenly gave into my gag reflex trying to find a breath of clean fresh air as whatever had blown into my face was so vivid and putrid and was making me violently ill from the smell. It was like someone had breathed into my face who smelled like an ashtray or who had just smoked 3 packs of cigarettes and drank so much booze that they bathed in it. It was so strong that I will never forget how my senses were in shock from the sheer strength of the smells and scent I was being forced to endure from the darkness above me. But I somehow knew who it was even though I could only see the darkness that enveloped me, I knew it was Mike. It was like he was saying it’s me I am here and I need your help, you know that I’m in hell.
I finally gathered up enough courage and bolted straight up out of bed and ran out into the living room where I found my husband sitting watching tv in the dark. You’re brother is in the bedroom I yelled in utter fear and panic. My husband tried to calm me down but I was pretty shaken up. I told him what had just happened in the bedroom all the while pretty much in histerics of course and frightened out of my mind! My husband then admitted to me that he had not been able to sleep for weeks as he kept seeing his brother everywhere, that he was appearing to him, but as he looked when he died. After my brother-in-law appeared as he did to me, I quickly realized that his soul was crying out for help, to be saved. So I started to pray for him as I realized where his soul was and he knew that out of everyone and anyone in his immediate family that I believed in God. The strange part is, that my father and sister who never really knew my brother-in-law that well confessed that he came to visit them as well and they too realized that he needed all the prayers possible to help him get out from where he was. This experience will stick with me forever, I will never ever forget it, and boy did I pray for him and ask God to forgive him. Suddenly we were no longer bothered, we knew our prayers had saved him as everytime I think of him now I see him in a glowing loving white light in a beautiful white suit smiling and waving – I feel good now knowing he’s in heaven.”